Looking Back On My Day

Well today was supposed to be a fun day with Conner but looking back at my day it just wasn't. Shawn worked late today and when he got home we were visiting about our day and I got very sad and very frustrated with myself. I was going to try to spend some extra time with Conner without Logan around but it didn't work out that way. We ended up waiting until Logan went to bed to start a little project Conner had been wanting to help me on. Now normally my boys take naps at the same time so in order to spend some time with Conner I had to let him skip his nap. This was my first mistake. I should have just postponed for another day. The boys were not getting along today and I was very short and impatient with them. Then we went to the gym so I could work out and I should have used that time to work out and pray and think about getting my attitude adjusted so I could effect my kids more positively. I didn't do this so we came home to more bad attitudes all around. They had lunch and Logan took his nap and Conner and I started on our little project (which in the end turned out really cute and I will post on that when it's finished). It started out fun and ended in frustration on both our parts. By the time my boys went to bed and Shawn got home I was so disappointed that the day had not been the fun day I had planned and so disappointed in myself for my behavior that I was a little emotional. Shawn and I talked for a while and that helped but what really helped was an email I had received from my Mom earlier in the day. I didn't have time to read it when I got it around dinner time so I saved it to read later. Here was the email:

P.U.S.H.


A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might...


So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sunup to sundown, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind:


"You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn't moved." Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough."


That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"


The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself.


Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done.


Now, I, my friend, will move the rock." At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves the mountains.


W hen everything seems to go wrong .. just P.U.S.H.!


When the job gets you down ... just P.U.S.H.!


When people don't do as you think they should . just P.U.S.H .!


When you can't find the right work just P.U.S.H.!


When your money is "gone" and the bills are due . just P.U.S.H!


When people just don't understand you .. just P.U.S.H.!


P= Pray


U= Until


S= Something


H= Happens

I realized after reading this that I didn't PUSH. I didn't pray at all. It's amazing how easily we forget to use the simplest and best tool in our arsenal to improve our day. I am so guilty of this. I get so busy and rapped up in what's going on and what needs to be done I forget that I have the best weapon in the world to help me turn my bad days around. I just have to choose to use it.
My prayer for tomorrow is:
Lord give me the patience to get through the day,
help me to remember to use all the tools in my tool box to help me to have a good day and to help me to be a good example to my boys,
help me to respond to my boys with a soft voice and not and angry voice,
and give me the courage to tell my boys when I am wrong and to apologize to them for being wrong. Amen.
Ape

By the way there were a lot of other things I got out of that email but for tonight this is what I got out of it and it's what I needed at that moment.